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Cultivating the Vine
I want to begin this morning by saying how difficult I find it to preach on Mother’s Day. God did not give a text labeled “Mother’s Day,” and I don’t want to wrench Scripture out of context. I also know that many of you are godly women who don’t happen to be mothers; and we honor you today, as well. God has a purpose for all those He calls to Himself.
I want to begin by praising the ladies of this church. To my knowledge, we have a great host of godly ladies at this church, whether mothers or not. The mother’s of this church, as I have said before, do a great job as a whole of raising their children. In fact, if our mothers need to be reminded of anything it is probably to be sure to put God and their spouses above their children. You know, one my greatest challenges in life is not to make my children idols. We must be careful of this. So often I will go to pray or study God’s word, and I think “hey I should leave this and go play with my children.” Now we should make time for our children, but we must also make time for God and our children will see that example.
This morning I want to look at Psalm 128 and few supporting passages. I want us men to see how we can properly nourish our wives spiritually and emotionally.
Psalm 128
A Song of Ascents. Blessed is every one who fears the Lord, Who walks in His ways. When you eat the labor of your hands, You shall be happy, and it shall be well with you. Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine In the very heart of your house, Your children like olive plants All around your table. Behold, thus shall the man be blessed Who fears the Lord. The Lord bless you out of Zion, And may you see the good of Jerusalem All the days of your life. Yes, may you see your children's children. Peace be upon Israel!
You know there are many cards out there for Mother’s Day. Some are supposed to be humorous. The humor is often taken from the obvious attitude that pervades many a household. One recent mother’s day card said this: Forget the housework, Mom. It's your day. Besides, you can always do double duty and catch up on Monday!
*Recently Salary.com estimated value of a mom.
Top 10 jobs after surveying moms:
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Housekeeping;
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Day care center teacher;
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cook;
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computer operator;
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laundry machine operator;
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janitor;
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facilities manager;
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van driver;
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CEO;
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psychologist
They estimated about $130,000. And you are saying “where is it?” Well, Christian, yours is waiting for you in heaven!
Prov. 31:10 said her worth is far above rubies long before salary.com did. Today I just want us to focus a bit on a biblical picture of womanhood, particularly mothers. Contrary, to our culture, the greatest thing a woman can do to impact the world for Christ is to keep a godly home and raise godly children. Oh, it won’t be easy. And you can all say Amen!
There is actually a trend by many woman to embrace, counter to our culture, this biblical role of womanhood and motherhood. One feminist recently wrote a book entitled “Get to work.” She was dismayed that an educated woman would rather stay at home and raise children. This woman, a retired professor decided to do a study. She looked in the wedding section in the NY times. In 1996 she picked out over thirty women that were well educated. She waited 7-8 years after their wedding. She then interviewed over 30 of these woman who had since had at least one child. She was horrified that only five of them were still full-time in the work force. 10 were working part time. 25 were not working outside of the home. This feminist was very upset at this trend.
Psalm 128 is just simply one place in scripture where
we see the Biblical alternative. And really what we have are two totally
different ways of living. There is the world’s way which will constantly
change. Then there is God’s way which transcends cultures. Psalm 128 is in
the middle of what are called the Ascent Psalms.
In Psalm 128 we see what we might even call a Beattitude. In the Beattitudes we read of people being blessed. Here we read that “Blessed is everyone who fears the Lord.” You say, don’t talk about fear on Mother’s day! You don’t think fear and mother’s day go together, you have never met my grandmother!
Notice how the Psalmist draws a parallel between fearing God and walking in His ways. How do we know if we fear God? If we walk in His ways. Just how will we be blessed by fearing God? The psalmist tells us in vv. 2-3 and sums it up in v. 4.
When you eat the labor of your hands, You shall be happy, and it shall be well with you. Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine In the very heart of your house, Your children like olive plants All around your table.
Notice that v. 2 assumes you work and labor. There is nothing that I despise more than laziness. We all have traits that we dislike more than others. I cannot stomach a lazy person. Well, God doesn’t like laziness either. The assumption is that the man will work. And when that happens other good things flow from that. Part of the curse of the fall is to be blessed. You know they have traced a lot of depression to those who don’t work.
Now look at what is stated about the man’s wife. What is a “fruitful vine?” It is a lush beautiful plant which produces much fruit in the household. Notice here, that a woman’s purpose is presented in this Psalm in relation to a man and her home. She is at the very center of the home—she is the nerve center of the house. Now God may call you to not marry. Paul talks about that in 1 Corinthians. That can be a calling that God can give some people. God then calls those people to certain tasks. It is not an inferior calling, just a different one.
We see that the wife is the center of the house. And notice our text mentions that the children are like olive plants. Don’t dismiss this picture of the table as well. It represents what we might call family time. It is important to spend time together as a family.
But in our text God is picturing the woman as a helpmate to the man. A lot of our culture does not want to hear this. Now anytime you preach on a topic such as this, you’re going to get wives who are thinking: “well, my husband doesn’t take care of me like he should.” And you will have husbands who are thinking, but hopefully are smart enough not to say it, that my wife is not fruitful like that.
First I want to speak to the husband. This fruitful vine needs nourishment. If you don’t give it nourishment it will not be fruitful. You say well, ok, I’ll add a sunroom to the house! I’m not talking about sun and water that a true vine would need. I’m talking about love and understanding, and honor.
Three sources of nourishment for these Vines:
1. Love
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,
That sounds easy enough. We need to love our wives. Of course, the depth of this love is not easy and it does not come naturally to us. Especially, since God parallels our love for our wives with Jesus’ dying for the church. You say well, pastor you just don’t understand I can’t love my wife like this because she this and that … etc. Don’t tell it to me, tell it to God. I will warn you that none of these excuses will work at the Bema judgment!
The good news is that God gives us some definition of this love. God gives us ways to express this love that we are to have for our wives.
2. Understanding . . . for she is the weaker vessel.
Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.
Now some of you men just gave up. Some of you men just said to yourself, “I could never totally understand my wife.” (Joke about golfers and the genie)
Well let’s look closely at the text and we will get some good news, guys. Some versions translate this word considerate. That is the idea. That is what understanding means here. In other words, God is not commanding us to understand our wives, particularly their emotions. It is speaking of the manner in which we live with our wives. He is saying we are to live in a manner of understanding with them. The husband is to be sensitive to his wife’s deepest spiritual, physical and emotional needs. We can be sensitive without really understanding them!
The text says “live with them in understanding.” The word used here for live is not the usual word for live. This word means to “dwell together,” and refers to living with someone in intimacy and cherishing them. It really is a beautiful picture of what God intends in the home between a husband and a wife. This is so important guys. We need to understand our wives.
Notice also the words “weaker vessel.” This is speaking of physical and emotional weakness. In other words men, if your wife can out bench press you, you do have a problem. But I think that the major emphasis is on emotions. When we think of weak, we think in negative terms. That is not how God is using this word in this context. The fact that the woman is the “weaker vessel” is not a bad thing; for that is part of God’s design. God does not say it is bad. He just says, listen men, you need to know that that is the way it is. It does not mean women are inferior spiritually or intellectually.
You know vines sometimes want to fall down. When this happens they are not as fruitful, so the vinedresser has to lift them up. They can’t lye on the ground like squash or pumpkins. They must hang up from the ground. What does a vinedresser do? He often stretches the vine on an arbor. Husbands, at times you will need to lift your vines up so that they can get the proper nourishment. We can do this through loving and understanding them. This is where things like the “love languages” can be helpful.
*Not only does the man need to love his wife and live with her in a manner of understanding, but he needs to:
Honor her
Men are to honor their wives. This means that men are to treat their wives with respect. You know I’ve seen husbands treat their cars and their golf clubs with more respect than their wives. I know men who are constantly cleaning and shining their cars up, but don’t appear to do much of that with their wives. We must treat them with respect.
And let me say this. Women are to honor their husbands as well. Both must do this. If you are not married yet and you are in a relationship where the other party, man or woman, does not treat you with honor, dump them now. It won’t get better. Get out of that relationship now. You don’t need to be involved intimately with a person who does not treat you with respect. Now if you are married, getting out is not an option! Don’t get out get right! But we must honor each other.
This is made all the more important because God says if a husband and wives relationship is not right, then their relationship to Him cannot be right. Perhaps some of you are constantly miserable and can’t figure out why your spiritual lives seem dead. Well, how is your relationship to your spouse? Your relationship with God will only be as good as your relationship with your spouse. You say, come on Mike, this is mother’s day make me feel good. You want to feel good, give your wife love, honor, and understanding.
You don’t even have to be married to get this. If you are dating or courting, and the relationship is not right then your spiritual life will come crashing down. You know, this is so important for all of us. It is particularly important for me. In fact, my pastorate depends on it.
And lastly, I must add that our children will see the way we treat each other. It does little good for Christians to home school or send their children to Christian school, if they are not seeing their parents model Christ in the home. The home will have more impact than anything else upon their development. An older pastor, whom I respect more than any other, raised four very godly children. To this day the children, ranging in age from 25-37 are godly and serving Christ. He even sent them to public school. He took a lot of heat from those in his congregation who insisted that home-schooling was the only way. This man is one of my mentors. I asked him how his children turned out so godly and how he could send them to public school.
First of all he gave God all the credit. But he said Mike, “it does no good for parents to home school and pay for Christian school, if the children do not see Christ in the home.” Some of you may be sacrificing in certain areas to home school or send your children to Christian school. That is fine, but they better see Christ reflected in the home. Or one day you are likely to ask yourself what went wrong.
Mom and dad, we must be sure that we put God first and spouse second, then our children. It will be the best example that we can set.
Now in closing v. 4 of Psalm 128 sums it up well:
Behold, thus shall the man be blessed Who fears the Lord.
Again, the key is the fear of the Lord. The fear of our Lord is a great motivating factor. The fear of God should help us be the wives and husbands that we should be. Husbands love, understand, and honor your wives not just today, but always.
